Archive for June, 2008

A Long Slow Slide

Well, for the last 6 months I have been more sick than I have ever been in my whole life. I began IVIG treatments here, in New York, in early February. Since then, I have had 5 colds and 4 bouts of stomach virus/food poisoning. Right now, my colon is twisting itself in knots…I have horrendous gastrointestinal issues. The immunoglobulin doesn’t seem to be doing much good. Granted, everyone else I know has been quite ill this winter/spring and they all have healthy immune systems. But I feel like my GI tract is really malfunctioning.

Now I don’t produce any IgA, the most common protective antibody for the colon, so I guess this is to be expected…but it really sucks.

My health really seems to be in a serious state of decline. I have an appointment scheduled this week with my immunologist to discuss diagnostics and next steps. I will let you know what she says. I’m afraid I may have colitis.

 I am having a hard time dealing with this decline. I have an image of myself as a rugged outdoorsman, backpacker, camper, swimmer, etc. Now I feel like that life is permanently over. I don’t ever forsee being healthy enough to even go to the gym. I’m even thinking about quiting my job, I just don’t have the energy anymore.

I watch my 15 month-old daughter scamper around the house and I doubt that I will ever be able to coach her softball team, teach her to ride a bike, show her how to pitch a tent.

I’m only 44 but I sit here with no answers, with no success, waiting out a long slow slide.

Into what?

There is nothing attractive about that future.

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June 30, 2008 at 6:08 pm 11 comments


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